Mama always said...

There would be days like this and it is true, even in the land of sunshine and rainbows, there are days that leave you feeling blue. The other day at school I was bullied by another teacher. Wait… what? That is exactly what I was thinking as it was happening. We were in the lunchroom where I had been helping distribute lunch when two teachers were talking in dialect, apparently about me because one of them looked over and said “Don’t worry, she doesn’t understand us.” That is, in fact, completely the case because although dialect is a variation of English, many times it does not sound like any word I have ever heard before in my life. The she looked at me and said, “What’s unique about America?” in a snappy tone and then proceeded to say “St. Vincent has its own language, food, culture, holidays and way of doing things. Everything America has is borrowed.” I looked over in disbelief, shocked that I was being asked to defend my country. I said, “We are the great melting pot, we have so many different people coming together and that is what makes us unique.” I left it at that, exhausted and frustrated at the experience.

I hesitated to write about this on my blog because I was afraid it would come out as a complaint when really it was an “ah-ha” moment. I also don’t want to overdramatize the bullying. In fact, I am quite sure that if she knew how her comment affected me, she would explain that she did not mean for it to come across that way. So that leads to my “ah-ha” which is don’t take everything so personally and roll with the punches. I spoke with my friend Sati about the whole experience and he explained to me that people are going to want to challenge me a little because they want to see if I can handle the pressure. Vincentians are light hearted people and they want to know if you can roll with that. He also explained that so many Vincentians move off of the island that to those who have never left there is a certain mystery about what could be so great about the US, England, Canada or anywhere else in the world when St. Vincent is so unique in its own right.

There seems to be a point in the first couple months where despite being happily integrating into the community, you hit a wall. You realize that you are different and while you can adjust to cold water, lizards and being stared at all the time, there are things under the surface that will take more time. Peace Corps feels like the first time I learned to knit. At first, it is crazy and confusing. Then you get the hang of it and are dreaming of knitting cable sweaters and blankets for your yet to be born nieces and nephews. Then you look down and realize that you have missed stitches, miscounted or the holes just look funny. You have to pull out the yarn and go back to the beginning. You know what to do but you have to slow down and take time to get it right. They have a saying here, “Tek time kill ants yo go fine de guts,” which translates as if you take time to do something, you will discover the intricate details that make up the whole picture. So I am taking time to kill the ants (just not the crazy ones that are attacking my house!).