Mom Calls Them Learning Takes

Peace Corps asked for "lessons learned" in our annual trimester report. I call them tidbits of goofiness that remind me of why I am here and what I ultimately came to do, which is get to know myself better so that just by being alive, I can become a positive energy in the world.

At the school:

• Learn from the locals: You might have a great teaching method and experience but if you are still calling "z", "z" and not "zed" you will not be getting through.
• Be broad: Offer to help in all areas of the school as you get started. Who cares that you hate making banners? It might be just the opportunity to get to know a fellow teacher, who, after developing a relationship with, you may start a comedian troop with.
• Withhold all judgement: In other words, "You know nothing" and you can either judge and have pie in your face later or you can try as hard as you can just to observe and soak it in. You will start to understand the way things work eventually and that is when things will get interesting because you have to fit into the way things work to truly integrate.

In the Community:

• Sincerity goes further than friendliness: When I first arrived, I found myself waving and saying "hi" to everyone. Like I didn't stick out enough to start with, here I was acting like I was running for Prime Minister of St. Vincent; kissing babies and shaking hands. There was a point when I started to understand the looks that were being given to me. It is not like anyone was unfriendly but the looks said, "Alright, you are new here, we get it, so now what?" Once I understood that all of my friendliness really was just a show, I knew that I had to get "real." I started asking names. I started linking parents to children and families to families. I started asking questions and sharing things about myself and what I am doing here. I opened up and was honest about who I am. Wouldn't you know it, all of the sudden, things started to make more sense and I began to feel like I fit in a bit more. I am still in the midst of this exciting process and I love it. What a blessing to be in a culture where people are willing to be my friend, regardless of my skin tone, nationality or goofy outfits.
• For one reason or another, it seems like all of the other Christian denominations on the island do not like the Seventh Day Adventists: I still don't understand it but I am telling you, I see it. As a volunteer it is good to know these subtle prejudices that exist within this culture as sooner or later, you will surely bump into it when you are trying to move forward with an idea.
• If you don't wash your drapes before Christmas, everyone knows about it and you can bet they are talking about it: That's no joke. I have been amazed by the things that my neighbors, community members and students pick up just by existing in the same small piece of the world as me. Originally, the American in me thought, "AHHH!!! No privacy!!!! This will make me nutty!" but now I see the nosiness is a way of caring. My neighbors know all of my friends, they ask how my family is doing, they laugh at my attempts to clean moss off the concrete and try my crazy carrot soup. So they don't really care if you clean your drapes, as long as you are willing to be the messy one in this "family" you have just joined.

Where it counts the most--lessons learned about Myself:

• Humility times two: First, I am so humbled by the friends and family that are supporting me from afar in the states. When you are put in a situation like this where you are 100% alone, you are able to see your support system very clearly. I am, literally, brought to my knees, by the love and concern that these special people have for me. I don't understand how in a world of so much hatred and meanness, I ended up with the most selfless and committed people in my corner. Second, I have always loved to dream big and while that has been an attribute here as well, I feel that I have benefited the most from having some of my largess dreams squashed by the realities of life in a developing country. As the singer K'naan says, "Any man who knows a thing, knows he knows not a damn, damn thing at all." (sorry for the language but it just fits!). I hope that as I move forward in this journey, I move with humility, knowing that I am here to learn from Vincentians and maybe provide some extra energy, smiles and laughable dance moves.
• I am still learning: There is no point in trying to be perfect here, I give up. The idea of perfection was something that I truly struggled with in the States. I always wanted to do it right, so much that I think I let a lot of things fall to the wayside because I was scared of failing. Here, I like to savor the learning moments and look forward to the process that each of my volunteer projects will go through. I want to be told straight what I could be doing better, so I can do it. I want whatever I leave behind, whether it be a memory of going to the talent show with Miss Smith or being taught to read, to have that signature "Sarah Smith" quirk.
• When your soul comes alive, you better listen to it and listen good, gyal (girl).